
Josh Gordon was right there with you.
He wanted the yards, the touchdowns, the Pro Bowls, the championships, the big-money contract, the satisfaction of turning his prodigious football talent into a legendary Hall of Fame career.
None of it happened, of course.
Substance abuse issues derailed the wide receiver’s path, and a decade’s worth of tantalizing potential came to an end last September when Gordon officially retired from professional football.
It led to a final ‘what-if’ rumination from the NFL world, as no one could ever shake Gordon’s now-infamous 87-catch, 1,646-yard, nine-touchdown season in 2013 at the tender age of 22.
In total, Gordon was suspended seven times for issues related to substance abuse, missing two full seasons and parts of five others.
He’s as frustrated as anyone with how his football career turned out — but he’s also happy it’s over. While the chance at redemption is gone, so is the pressure.
“We know it and I know it — there was a lot of money left on the table, a lot of opportunity left on the table,” Gordon told Casino Beats in an exclusive interview. “Championships. I could still be playing, you know? But you learn to live with it, man. You learn to look for new opportunities and new growth into the new you. Personal development.
“It’s good to say that actively playing football is behind me. It feels good to say that, and hey, I tried. I made some money, and no, I didn’t make what I wanted to, but I’m still here. I’m healthy, I’ve got my faculties about me, I didn’t have major surgeries. I’m thankful for a lot of things, man.”
Gordon can’t go back in time, and so he’s choosing to look on the bright side, rather than let the disappointment eat him alive.
“I have to,” Gordon said. “It’s the reality I’ve been confronted with. It wouldn’t do any good for myself or anyone else if I was doing that non-stop, profusely ruminating on all those thoughts.
“There’s no way I could go on and have life exist for me happily. I definitely could have given better effort, and I hope in the future that I continue to give more of myself in ways in which I could have in the past. That’s kind of where I’m with it now.
“Hall of Fame, having it all, that was the goal. That was the intention. But life deters it, things derail it and you bounce back as best as you can. And I think I have.”
Gordon: Retirement Has Allowed Me To Prioritize Relationships
Gordon is speaking on a videochat from his home in Texas, wearing a hoodie and a black hat with ‘East River’ emblazoned on the front. He logs on for the interview 19 minutes early and doesn’t sidestep a question.
He talks excitedly about his post-playing routine, which includes more time for family, for friends Gordon hasn’t seen in years, for time on the golf course.
“I’m not hitting it great, but I’m breaking 100, sometimes 90,” Gordon said. “It’s good to get out, be in the sun, stay active, and be around people I enjoy most, good friends. I haven’t seen them in years, and it’s nice to be able to touch base with some loved ones, really just spend time and show care.”
Gordon is content being away from the game for now, but thinks football will eventually draw him back in.
He lights up when talking about the current batch of receivers in the NFL, sharing tidbits and calling himself a ‘couch coach.’
“Khalil Shakir, Buffalo’s guy — I want them to find a way to get the ball in his hands a little bit more,” Gordon said. “He’s fast as hell, man. So quick.”
Gordon: I Want To Share My Story As A Cautionary Tale
Gordon talks about the time commitment it takes to become a coach, and seems reluctant to dive into something like that right now.
One thing he’s ready to do: share his story as a cautionary tale.
“I have a responsibility, if anything, to make sure I pay it forward and pass down whatever knowledge that may be able to help the next generation, the next youth, overcome,” Gordon said. “I know it might help somebody else along the way that might be going through whatever I experienced. And that’s exactly what I’m here to do.
“I’d like to be an insight, a beacon to other individuals, like Cris Carter and like so many other NBA and NFL advocates on a wide variety of issues that might be plaguing people.”
Gordon does not sound bitter and does not blame others for his predicament. He did make it to the NFL after all. As a youth, he never expected to live past 18.
“It’s a lot more good than bad that I experienced, and I’m grateful for all of it,” Gordon said. “I wish I would have done better. It’s one of those situations in life where I have to look back and I have to grow from it. As you get older, you mature. I was blessed to play in Cleveland and everywhere, experience the NFL at the highest level. I don’t take it lightly. At this point in life, it’s nice to see I had any impact on the game at all, really.”
Gordon says a combination of “those micro and those macro interactions” have helped him think back positively on his NFL experience.
“I’ve been on vacation on numerous occasions and met people outside the country that may have known my face or my name or something like that,” Gordon said. “I’ve seen my jersey somewhere I didn’t expect to see it, like at a grocery store well after my playing days, even recently.
“It lives with you and it’s a part of you. I have to take a certain amount of pride with it and see the happiness with the Browns organization, the Patriots organization, all these other experiences. I played with some great players that are part of this history. I want to walk with a sense of pride about it, along with humility and grace. Take the good that comes from it. It’s a blessing to see how my life played out through the lens of football.”
Gordon: A Browns Reunion Would Be Extremely Meaningful
Gordon is most well-known for his time with the Browns, and hopes he can have a relationship with the organization in the future.
Gordon played five seasons there, including a promising rookie season and that dominant second year, when he led the league in receiving yards despite missing two games for violating the NFL’s substance abuse policy.
That short suspension was a harbinger of things to come, as Gordon missed all of 2015 and 2016 with substance abuse issues. The Browns eventually traded him to the Patriots in 2018.
Gordon said he would love to be reunited in any fashion with the Browns.
“The Browns, that’s who drafted me and who I’m appreciative the most to,” Gordon said. “They gave me the opportunity to play. However they deem it, if the opportunity presents itself, maybe I’ll be able to walk through that door and lend some advice, some help, some support, whatever it is. Or just say what’s up in the community. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy.”
Gordon: ‘I’m Happy’ Closing Football-Playing Chapter
Gordon didn’t retire on his terms, and mentioned a couple times that he thinks he’s still good enough to be in the NFL.
But after bouncing around in the league from 2019 to 2022 and playing for the Seattle Sea Dragons of the XFL in 2023, the writing was on the wall.
“Physically, I feel like, man, even now I feel like I could still do it,” said Gordon, 33. “And that (mentality) may not change for a while, whether it’s true or not. That’s just me being biased and my competitive nature of being an athlete. You want to go out there and do it so bad.
“Physically, it does take its toll. It’s tiresome, it’s long, it’s grueling, it’s nonstop. I didn’t see myself at the output I once was, and after so many different teams, it’s hard to find that rhythm and that utility, whether a team wants you or needs you, sees you in that same way. It’s hard to fit yourself into situations that aren’t as organic, so sometimes it just plays itself out after awhile.”
While many athletes dip into a depression after their playing days, maybe this is where Gordon has an advantage.
Self-sabotage ripped the game from him multiple times in the past, and Gordon will forever be known for his untapped potential.
But he’s not worried about ‘what-if’ anymore. He’s focused on: what’s next?
“It feels liberating to have that chapter of my life end and come to a close,” Gordon said. “It was bittersweet, but that was just the reality of it. You feel young forever. You feel like it’s going to last forever. It’s a grueling process you go through, and then it’s just over. You look back like, ‘Where am I supposed to go from here? They didn’t train you for that part of life.
“It’s a tall task, but I’m excited for it. It poses a new obstacle, but a new outlook on life. It’s something I’ve been looking to embrace, as far as personal development in what I’ve been lacking, and making time for it. Now I have time. Spending time with my family has been a huge blessing and help for me. (Playing football) is a chapter I’m happy to have ended, actually, to find the next thing for me to do.”